Today, there are many rituals that can be incorporated into ceremonies in which the bride and groom choose elements that symbolize or represent the union of the couple. Depending on the number of guests, only the bride and groom can participate, some guests who are special to the couple, and in others, even all the guests can participate: the parents of the bride and groom, if the couple has children, and even some very special friends. We can incorporate the one you want because of its symbolism, way of being performed, tradition, your customs, professions… Request information and we will tell you what they are like and which one best suits your civil ceremony. We are available via WhatsApp at (+34) 699 903 691.
If your ceremony is going to be performed by a trusted friend and you want to incorporate any of these rituals into your ceremony, we can prepare a script for you so that your ceremony shines with its own light. Tell us which ritual you like the most and we will inform you.
Symbolic rituals have been incorporated into wedding ceremonies forever. Sometimes, we may think that the word ritual has a sense of religious protocol to which we are already accustomed, but in civil wedding ceremonies, they are symbolic acts: Precisely, the “exchange of rings” is a ritual in which rings are used for their symbolism of “without beginning or end”, but we have it so ingrained that we do not think it is a ritual. The origin of the exchange of rings dates back to the Egyptians, around 2800 BC. For them, the ring was a circle that represented a form without beginning or end, that is, infinity, eternal love, and they were given on the wedding day, which did not consist of a religious ceremony but a party with food, drink, music and dancing. These rings could be made of fabric, metals and even some of gold. Later, the Romans and the Christian religion were the ones who ended up establishing this custom as something indispensable in the sacred marriage, turning it into an indispensable symbol in the ceremony.
1.- The wedding arras
They are a traditional element that is used as a symbol of commitment and prosperity in marriage, they have their origin in ancient Roman and Visigothic traditions, where coins were used to seal marriage contracts.
They consist of a set of coins that symbolize the union of the couple and the desire for prosperity and the promise to share the assets of the marriage.
In many cases, the arras are usually thirteen silver coins that are presented on a special tray or box. Each of these coins represents a month of the calendar, to which an additional coin is added as a symbol of the generosity of sharing with the less fortunate. This last coin was formerly usually made of bronze or a material of inferior quality to the other twelve. The exchange of arras takes place just after
2.- The ritual of the union of hands or ribbons
Surely this is one of the most popular rituals. Many times we carry it out without ribbons: the simple union of the hands of the bride and groom is something wonderful. It is a moment in which they go from sitting in front of me, to standing up, looking at each other, while I read the meaning of the hands. The guests are surprised because they have never seen anything like it, so simple and so beautiful, one in front of the other, holding hands. Here I have put a photo of ribbons, we have done it with ropes, natural ribbons, others with colors that represent the bride and groom and on other occasions the guests have also participated in this ritual.
This ritual allows the participation of some guests, usually important people for the bride and groom, whom we recommend not to tell them anything, but that it be a surprise and thus they will not be thinking that they are going to go to the altar and they will be nervous for several days.
3.- The ritual of the stones
It comes from the Scottish tradition. Long before rings existed, the elements of the earth were taken as a symbol of the union of couples: the stones come from the earth and the earth is life, they are also old and strong, symbol of the resistance and strength of the couple. In this ritual there are several versions: one in which the bride and groom say their vows putting their hand on a large stone that is on the altar table, another version in which the guests participate by taking a stone when they arrive at the ceremony and another version in which the guests write a message of blessing for the bride and groom. During the ceremony the stones are collected in a basket and the bride and groom take home the messages from the guests.
4.- The ritual of the rose
In this ritual most couples choose red but if your ceremony has a special color, the color of the rose can change. With this ritual the bride and groom make the first gift as husband and wife, with the promise to place a rose in a vase on each wedding anniversary, as a reminder of the moment they shared.
It is a ritual in which the parents of the bride and groom can also participate by offering this gift as a welcome to the family. The bride and groom receive the roses and at the end they place them in a vase to continue with the ceremony. Read more
5.- The ritual of light or candles
The presence of fire on the altar, even in its small form of “little flame of a candle” is very significant: fire is a natural element that accompanies man from its origin. Candles are always very popular and, above all, because of an idea that we believe is worth considering a Candle as a symbol of unity. It can also be done outdoors, but in these cases we will tell you how to do it.
The Unity Candle symbolizes the lives that are united in marriage. It is a large candle lit by the bride and groom, sometimes by the bridal couple together with their children, indicating that they are all now an inseparable part of each other. It has a variant in which more guests can participate.
6.- The ritual of wine and the letter, or the time capsule
The objective is to save memories of the moment we are living right now. For this, you can have a box prepared that will be sealed afterwards. In this box, you can put memories of your wedding, including a good bottle of wine. It is usually about writing a love letter to your spouse and keeping it in the box/capsule. Then it must be buried in the family garden or kept well. In a few years, usually 5, 10 or 15, you can open it, remember your wedding and read the love letter it contains. If you put a bottle of wine in the box, it has a symbolic purpose: like wine, you believe that your love will become stronger and last over the years. It is a good way to renew your vows and see how your relationship has evolved over time.
7.- Planting a tree
Planting a tree to symbolize the union in marriage is an ancient ceremony recognized in many cultures of the world. It is also an ecological practice that attracts the attention of couples looking for a new twist to the more traditional wedding ceremonies, such as the ceremony of light or jumping the broom, for example. The beauty of the tree ceremony is that there is no fixed way to celebrate it, so it can be personalized according to the theme. “The symbolism of the tree is simple and beautiful: it represents that a relationship takes root, grows and flourishes as it officially becomes a family”. If planting a tree (or a potted plant, even) seems like something that will add even more meaning to your big day, consult us and we will make a script to your measure.
8.- Ritual of the sand
This ritual has its origin in Hawaii. The bride and groom hold two jars full of sand of different colors that they then mix in a third jar. This means that they accept the differences of their spouse and that their union is insoluble, since it is now impossible to recover only their grains of sand. However, your sand retains its color, which symbolizes that you retain your own personality, but now you are one. If you already have children, they can also mix their sand. For silver or gold weddings, this is an example of a ritual in which the whole family can participate: the bride and groom, their children and their grandchildren, can each participate with their jar of sand in a great moment for the whole family.
9.- The ritual of breaking a glass
We have had the opportunity to carry out this ritual with a couple from France, where the groom was Jewish. At the end of the ceremony, a glass wrapped in a napkin is placed and the groom breaks it by stepping on it hard. Later, all the guests shout in unison: “¡Imazal Tov!”. It is important that the glass is well wrapped so that it does not release pieces.
This ritual has several interpretations throughout history, such as the one that recalls the destruction of the Jewish temple in the time of Jesus Christ. This shows us that even in their happiest moments such as their wedding, they are obliged and wish to remember the moments that defined their people and that even today continue to move them. I am left with the one that represents the fragility of a marriage, so the now husband and wife must take care of that union just as a glass cup is taken care of so that it does not break.
10.- The ritual of bread in weddings
While bread is something universal, the custom of the ritual of bread in ceremonies comes from Slavic lands, in which a few days before, the family participates in the preparation of the bread that the bride and groom are going to take as the first common food of their marriage (bread is considered a symbol of happiness, wealth and abundance). Although I have had the opportunity to carry out this ritual in a ceremony with a Russian bride and a Spanish groom, a variant has also emerged in which instead of eating a piece of bread, the bride and groom throw a pinch at the bread and whoever gets the biggest piece, they say that they will take the reins of the marriage during the first years. This can cause a moment of surprise for the guests, but we do not know if the reins in marriage are scientifically proven. 😉
11.- Ritual of the broken bowl
This ritual consists of repairing an object by highlighting its imperfections with authentic gold dust, instead of trying to hide them. The broken object, by assuming its past, becomes paradoxically more resistant, more beautiful and more precious than before the impact. From the repair of this object, the bride and groom show their resilience. They testify to their full acceptance of the other person and their past, their weaknesses and scars. They also accept that in the life of a couple there are sometimes storms that can crack the foundations built a little, but that allows them to look for ways to do better each time, to learn from their experiences and to use them to feel stronger and more united.
12.- Ritual of the tree of vows
More original than the famous guest book, you can place a tree, either natural or paper, in the center of your wedding venue. Next to the tree there will be available to the guests, a paper in which they can write what they want: wishes of happiness, write what they feel for the bride and groom, their wishes for the couple, etc. After the ceremony, you can collect the messages, read them and keep them in a safe place.
13.- The bride and groom’s library
If you are lovers of reading, the bride and groom can ask the guests to come with a book. This will make the guests think about the bride and groom, what they would like to recommend to them. Then, they must place what they have brought in a large box that they will open after the ceremony to create a library. Their relatives can mark or highlight the book. Of course, your guests must explain why they give you this book. You will be able to know what story you mean to your loved ones.
It is a ritual for intimate weddings, with few guests, because otherwise we can get together with a good number of books that have to be taken home.
14.- The cocktail ritual
During the ceremony the bride and groom want to do something special, something that they like very much and they have chosen to prepare a cocktail: a cocktail is a mixture of ingredients that together take on a special flavor, it is something like the union of two people in marriage: the ingredients are brought by the waiter or are already prepared on a table next to the altar.
There are hundreds of cocktails to choose from and when they finish it, they turn to the guests and toast. Tomorrow, every time they drink this cocktail they will remember this special moment.
There is a version where we can involve all the guests. Would you like to?
15.- The ritual of the red thread
The red thread symbolizes a spatial connection, it is a bond that has always existed, an invisible force that leads two people towards their union in true love. No matter where we are, where we are from, how separated we are, destiny will always bring them together at the right time.
16.- Burn your fears
Every groom has fears. Before the ceremony you have to write them down in black and white. Just before the ceremony, you must express them orally to your partner and talk about them.
This ritual has a symbolic aspect: you trust your partner, you trust that they will not try to make your fears come true, or at least they will help you overcome them, and you no longer fear the future with them.
During the ceremony, you must burn the two papers containing your fears in a container. In this way, your husband is the only person who knows your fears.
17.- The ritual of the love padlock
This ceremony consists of two locks and two keys: It symbolizes the opening of the heart and life to one another. Your partner is the key that made this love possible. Now, at your wedding, you unite this love in absolute and eternal unity.
In the Padlock of Love Ceremony, the bride and groom close their individual heart padlocks as if they were one. Then they can ensure that the keys that first opened their hearts can never be used to separate what has been joined at their wedding. Sometimes the keys are thrown into a place from which they can never be recovered. Sometimes they are tied to helium balloons and released; sometimes they are buried in a meaningful place or melted in a bonfire.
18.- Paint a picture
In the center of your reception room, leave a painting and an easel. Each guest can come and draw whatever they want and what reminds them of the bride and groom. Everyone can participate if they wish. At the end of the ceremony, you will have a magnificent painting drawn with love by your loved ones, especially if there are true artists in your environment. Of course, you should keep it carefully and you can use it as a decoration for your cozy little nest. Another option is for only the bride and groom to participate in the moment of painting a picture. Watch out for splashes! 🙂
19.- The ritual of jumping over a broom
Some couples who get married end the ceremony by jumping over a broom, together or separately. Jumping the broom is a widespread custom among African Americans, popularized in the seventies by the series Roots. It was used in the mid-19th century in the United States among enslaved West Africans in the South who were not allowed to marry (because marriage gave the couple moral, though not legal, rights over each other, which conflicted with the law).
Normally, a couple in love placed a broom on the ground and jumped over it as a kind of “I do,” as a sign of commitment. The broom jump was always done before witnesses.
Currently, jumping the broom can be seen as a joyful step through the threshold that separates single life from married life. The bride and groom accept all responsibilities and receive all the blessings that come with this leap. The broom marks the separation between the past and the future. By jumping together, they renounce their past and unite to face the future.
20 – Balls of wool
The bride and groom throw balls of wool to the guests in front of them. Those who receive a ball of wool must tie it to a finger and throw it to someone at the other end of the aisle. From one thread to the next, a web will form while the officiant encourages the guests to throw the balls of wool at each other to create a bond. This will cause a lot of laughter and allow families to get to know each other. This ritual symbolizes the bonds that are created with our loved ones, family and friends.
21 – The blessing of the rings
When there are around 50 guests at the ceremony, we can have all the guests participate during the ceremony in this ritual: The officiant is responsible for explaining what we are going to do: We call the person who brings the rings, but instead of bringing them directly to the altar, he gives them to one of the guests who passes them to the guest next to him and so on until the rings finally reach the altar. During this brief moment in which the guests have the rings in their hands (they are usually inside a small box), they take the opportunity to send their best wishes to the newlyweds. During this moment, violin music can be played in the background.
If you have many guests, we can make a modification so that the ceremony does not extend too much and everyone also participates.
22.- Celtic ceremony
This ceremony is usually held at night and outdoors, to establish a connection with nature. Before receiving the rings, the hands of the bride and groom are washed with water and salt, “cleansing” any negativity that may exist.
23.- The ritual of the Huppah
Of Jewish origin, it is also very well known. Originally, the Huppah was the canopy under which the officiant celebrated the union and the couple pronounced their vows. In the modern celebration, the parents of the bride and groom cover their shoulders with a blanket, possibly hand-embroidered; then the bride circles the groom seven times to symbolize the construction of the marital home.
24.- The ritual of washing feet
The ritual of washing feet symbolizes the fact that the bride and groom must serve each other, being the refuge of their partner. It shows the care and zeal that the couple must maintain in their relationship.
It is a ritual highly requested by couples who want to incorporate religious elements into their ceremony, as biblical marriage connects with the Gospel: Jesus, taking the form of a servant, chose to serve his disciples by washing their feet, despite being the King of Kings; and that Jesus is the bridegroom of heaven, and that we, the Church, are the bride of Christ.
25.- The ritual of the cup
In all these years we have performed ceremonies for couples from almost all over Europe and some bring their own traditions for the ceremonies such as the ritual of the cup, where the bride and groom drink at the same time from the same cup as a symbol of their union and not a single drop should fall. The origin of this ritual dates back to the Middle Ages, in the city of Nuremberg, in southern Germany, where a young woman of nobility fell in love with a goldsmith and her father did not approve of this marriage and she rejected the proposals of the nobles who asked for her hand. Her father was so enraged that he had the young goldsmith locked in the dungeon. But this did not make her forget the goldsmith and the father created what he thought was an impossible task: ‘If her goldsmith can make a chalice from which two people can drink at the same time without spilling a single drop, I will release him and you can get married. The goldsmith created a girl whose skirt was hollow to serve as a cup and her raised arms held a ‘much smaller cup’ that rotates to be able to fill it and then turn to a second drinker. The ‘Bridal Cup’ or ‘Wedding Cup’ remains a symbol; Love, fidelity and good luck await the couple who drink from this cup.
26.- The ritual of the flower lasso
Some foreign couples have asked me about the ritual of the lasso as something typical of the Spanish tradition, but I have not had the opportunity to do it at weddings between Spaniards, in fact I have only performed it in a ceremony between a Russian and a Mexican. This ritual comes from the late Spanish Middle Ages and after the discovery it is exported like many other customs to the other side of the Atlantic. In Mexico this custom took hold and today it is carried out with flower ties, rosaries or simply ropes, which are placed on the neck of the bride and groom, adapting the shape of the symbol of infinity, representing their union.
27.- The wine ritual
Wine has a significant symbolism both in religion and in popular culture: it represents abundance, the good life, joy and vitality. That is why, today I want to tell you about an original and very Mediterranean ceremony for weddings: the wine ritual. As in the sand ceremony, this ritual symbolizes the union of two souls, two lineages and two families, creating an inseparable bond. It is ideal for civil marriages, although it can also be celebrated at religious weddings if coordinated with the officiant.
28.- The ritual of the spices
For couples who love cooking, where it is possible for some guests to participate to whom they want to give a special role in the ceremony. Each chosen guest is assigned a spice (oregano, coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, pepper…) and as they approach we say something about the origin of each spice, its meaning and what it brings to the marriage.
There are many more:
The one of the rings, the one of the seeds, the one of the thread, the one of the fire, the one of the 4 elements, the one of the salt, the one of the chocolate, the one of the grape and the wine, the one of the ropes, the one of the aisle, The fingerprint tree…
In these more than 15 years doing civil ceremonies we have done more than 30 different rituals in the ceremonies: only for the bride and groom, for couples with children, for the bride and groom and their parents and for some or all of the guests to participate. If you are thinking of something special for your ceremony, talk to us. We will be happy to assist you.
